Darryl,

I've just been notified by my server, pair.com, that I've overrun my allocation of bandwidth for the plan I'm on, getting an average of 210 Mb/day. Because of that overrun, I'm going to have to upgrade my service there and spend more money.

That overrun is caused by traffic to my Club Photographs I've been shooting recently. And frankly, I understand it. I loved the fashion that I'd been shooting, and will continue to shoot fashion, but the dynamic colorful stuff from the parties and clubs, and the oozing sensuality and sexuality therein, and the whole experience draw me to it. So the fashion is taking a backseat to the club/party/fetish work right now.

I guess, given my druthers, I'd prefer to shoot the erotic work, controlling the images myself, working directly with the model(s), but the fact is, finding models to do erotic work isn't all that easy. The photographs themselves must be of value to them, because I can't afford to, nor do I wish to, on principle, pay models for that work. On the other hand, I'm in demand to shoot parties and clubs, and have a local following of fans and promoters. Most of these folks don't even know I've shot fashion, and they don't care. And as much as I make the pictures for me, I really like having fans directly feeding back to me their opinions and praise and such.

Another factor is that I'm fed up with the bad attitudes of web models of all sorts. I've played this web game for a couple of years now, and have met and photographed some of the best and most beautiful women anywhere. But things have changed even over the last year. There isn't as much new talent, and what there are don't have any real interest in making good photographs. Maybe they never did, but to me it seemed the ones I've worked with were actually interested in the pictures. The people I'm working with now, though they don't actually model, are serious about aesthetics. It's part of their lives. And as a rule, they are older and have a deeper interest and understanding of life, as do I.

My imagination is limited, too. I've found myself making the same pictures over and over. In fashion, for sure, and somewhat in the fetish as well, but I think I have more places to go, not dependent on my imagination, in the latter. And, frankly, I'm tired of trying to create interesting pictures. Right now, I'd rather sit back and interpret interesting things. This stuff lets me do that. The biggest effort in setting up a shoot is just getting clearances from the players. Making sure I know who I may, and who I may not shoot in compromising situations of various sorts. That's kind of like all the rules models impose on what they will and will not model for, and what parts can show and what can't, etc., but it's a far more friendly operation.

Sleep. I sleep enough. Given the choice between sleeping and making beautiful photographs, I'd give up sleep any day. I'd give up food, clothing, shelter, and in a sense, I've already given up my family. It's that important to me.

This is my art, and art is it's own imperative.

-Don

P.S. I figure not alot of people will read this confession, as it's buried pretty deep. Maybe this assumption, itself, is based on my own cynicism about the lack of interest in fashion, photography and art on the web.