I want it. We all want it. That newest body or lens or light or gizmo. If I only had that SunStar Strobo 1200 wattsecond pack with a couple of heads that the model's hand is demonstrating the lightness of, I could make pictures so much _____ (1) easier, (2) better, (3) faster, (4) cheaper, (5) all of the above.

I want a Leica M6 (0.85) so bad. If I had one and a 50mm f1.0 Noctilux I'd be able to shoot without any light at all (OK, I understand the physics, really). I picked up one of those new rangefinder Voightlanders yesterday. It was lignt, and there's a 35mm f1.7 lens available that's way fast for a 35, and I can almost afford it if I don't care whether my son goes back to college in September. Of course when shooting verticals, my focusing hand gets in the way of the viewfinder, and there's no option to meter off-the-film with the shutter open, and I won't see exactly what will be on the film, but it looks so cool, and if my tires can make it for another 5000 miles, and I start skipping lunch, I could have one of those babies.

Photo District News has the best toys. All the new stuff is shown there in oversized full page layouts, with lighting proven to make a grown photographer drool. My credit is good enough that I could probably squeeze out one of those 16x20 Polaroid camera's being made by Wisner. Imagine, 16x20 prints, instantly, and all it takes is a three year loan to be repayed at about $1000 a month. If I sold the car, made the kids pay for their own college, ate only one meal a day...

From conversations with friends, I'm not the only one that does this.

What's the reality though? The last thing I really, really needed was a Minox 35 viewfinder, so I'd never be caught without a camera. Some people make great walking around pictures. I thought I would too. I didn't. Left it at home mostly. Craig saw it sitting on a shelf, dusty, and traded me some old tungsten lighting for it. Bet it's sitting on his shelf now.

I got such a good deal on a Pentax SMC-M* 300 mm f4 lens that I couldn't believe it. It really is a rare and excellent piece of glass. I've used it three times. Two of my kids' graduations and once of Fuji wrapping the leash around Les's long lovely legs. I won't sell it though. Maybe someday I'll shoot catalogue stuff again, when I find that to be the most expressive form available. Right.

Just for fun, anyone else buy something because you just had to have it, and ended up with an expensive white elephant? Anyone trade up to the latest and greatest and find their quality going to hell? Anyone go to medium format (like I did once) and find the stuff only picked up when specified by an AD?

-Don